Military Girlfriend Support - After working on an Army base, I met all kinds of significant people: Army wives, Army fiancés, Army girlfriends, Army divorcees. As part of my job I had to debrief all arriving soldiers and families after installation. I will always remember one girl in particular.
She came up to me after the assignment and said bluntly... "I feel like I don't belong here."
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I replied, “You are more than just a friend. You are his love, his support, his foundation. He chose YOU to support him in one of the most difficult life experiences in the world: military life. He chose YOU because he knew you could handle it. He chose YOU because he was about to choose to spend the rest of his life with you."
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I'm writing about this girl today because I get a lot of emails from army girlfriends asking for advice and support. There are questions about deployments, career choices, PC moves, benefits, etc. It can be difficult for military girlfriends to get the answers they need because "boyfriends" are not officially dependents, so the amount of resources is limited.
So for the army girlfriend, here are some tips and some quotes to help you on this crazy journey.
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My name is JD. A lot has happened in my life in a few short years. I like to write about things that are important to me. I write about the daily challenges of being a working mom and military spouse. I get inspiration from my family, friends and the amazing adventures I can go on.
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Subscribe to receive my latest and greatest articles! I promise to never abuse your inbox or sell your information. That's just rude. When we received this letter from a friend asking for advice on what to expect from life, we knew we had to respond. We've given her some of our best advice.
I am extremely new to the "husband" community and very eager to learn the basics. My boyfriend is active in the military and is the love of my life.
I am only 21 years old and since he is 25 and four years older, I feel that he is much more experienced in life than me. We plan to take our relationship to the next level by moving in next month (we both agree it's best before we rush into marriage) and decide on our future together soon after.
A little about myself: I am currently attending a local community college where I will get my general associate degree after the summer and plan to transfer to a four year college next fall. My goal and ultimate passion is to become a teacher.
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I believe my boyfriend will be moving by October and I am more than willing to go with him. One of my biggest concerns when moving is keeping up with school. My 3 year old daughter lives with me full time but I do not have a legal parenting plan with me and her father. I also need help on how this works especially since I plan to move.
I think my anxiety is what my life will be like after not only devoting my life to him, but to.
When you're about to potentially get married in life, everything can seem a little, well, weird. We live in a world of uniforms, acronyms and marching orders. Our lives are often not our own, and we say "see you later" to our spouses for long periods of time, constantly praying that they will return to us safely.
There are many things to learn about life that will come with time. But there are also a few things we think you should know from the start.
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Being a member is a 24/7 job. Working hours are often predictable - but there can also be a lot of time in the field with long hours and nights. Sometimes life will be interrupted for military needs. Family plans, approved leave, and things you took for granted don't matter when the military comes calling. These things can be very frustrating, but they are all part of the job. However, they are easier to stomach if you expect them.
There are literally hundreds of family programs available to support spouses. Once married, you and your daughter will be able to receive health care through Tricare, dental coverage through Metlife, and a host of other benefits, including use of a grocery store or "commissary," use of on-base recreation (known as Morale Welfare - Recreation or "MWR"), applies to education depending on your soldier's rank, career assistance, parental support and more. None of these are available, unfortunately for girlfriends or even fiancees. You must be addicted.
Since I am not a lawyer or legal expert, I will suggest you contact someone who does. But I can tell you that it's important to find out sooner rather than later. the moves are complex enough without drama to watch.
For many families, moving is just part of the fun of this lifestyle. For others, it's a chore. But for everyone, moving is what you make of it. You have to decide how you feel about the new place where you live. So why not choose to enjoy it? Explore your new area, see the sights, enjoy nature and culture. Join the husband club and make new friends. Get out of the house and get involved.
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One of my favorite things in life is all the truly amazing people I meet. Because I get to spend time with people I would never have met otherwise. husbands are a loyal bunch. We know what it's like to make new friends every few years.
Here at SpouseBuzz, we try to look on the bright side as much as possible. But we do not deny the difficult things. It's hard to say "see you soon" to your soldier. Living without it is harder. Homecoming is a wonderful, joyful time. But reintegration sucks. For each of these steps, there are hundreds of spouses who have been there, done that, and support each other through it all. And there's nothing like the pride you feel knowing your soldier is serving his country and protecting YOUR freedom.
The bad news is that due to frequent moves and different licensing requirements in each state for jobs like teaching, it will be difficult to build a career as a spouse. The good news is that it won't be impossible. As you prepare to move, you'll want to check out the schools in your new workplace and make sure the classes you're taking now can transfer to their program. They offer many scholarships for spouses (once you're married, you can check them out here) and the Department of Defense works with states to make it easier to transfer licenses, including those for teachers.
You must have noticed this about the soldier. These guys tend to talk in acronyms. After years of marriage and coverage as a journalist I still ask myself "what does that mean?!" But the best way to tackle the Great Acronym Mystery is to simply ask. When your soldier or someone else uses an acronym, stop and ask what it means. There is no magic dictionary of acronyms that you can just download into your brain. Learning all this will take time.
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These are just some of the tips we have for a girlfriend-to-be-wife. We know the list goes on and on and on. What would you add?
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