Military Girlfriend - I'm 21 years old. This year we should celebrate being able to drink legally. To fight hangovers, we have to go to bars and parties and wake up to eat a carb-filled breakfast. They were supposed to enjoy the holidays, kiss at the prom on New Year's Eve and take pictures next to the famous Christmas tree in New York.
But we do none of this. Not because we don't want to. But since that is not an option.
Military Girlfriend
I don't spend every holiday with him, but I get a phone call that is more important than any present in the world. I can't make a new profile picture with her every week, but I can look back at what I have and realize how it feels to cherish the moments.
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Whenever there's a snow storm, I don't get to cuddle with her, but I always get a call reminding me to drive safely in bad weather. When my friends are busy, I don't always have anyone to hang out with, but I have time to work on things I've been putting off. I don't get to see my husband at every major event, but when I do get a chance to talk to him, he is extremely interested in my life and really wants to hear every detail about it. I can't talk to my husband every second I want, but I know we're always on each other's minds.
I started dating my husband before I went to basic boot camp. I didn't know how it would happen and I didn't know how to feel or if I could handle it. Having to not talk to your boyfriend and send letters seemed like a stupid job for a 21-year-old, and it was.
There were so many tears that went into every letter that was sent. There were so many vacations that I had alone, so many difficult days when he was not there, so many family events and parties that I came to alone. And why? Because he decided to sign the contract.
I believe that you can't help who you fall in love with. I realized that unlike that contract
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I had no choice but to sign. I fell in love with someone who decided to sign his life over (at least for a few years).
During the process of marrying a very young man in my life, I learned many life lessons. I learned lessons in months that should have taken years. I learned to choose my battles, I learned to control my emotions and show them correctly, I learned to be angry, but to argue with honesty.
I learned to forgive and actually forget. I learned that there is a time and a place for everything. I've learned that timing is the key to getting through those tough emotional conversations you know you have to have.
I learned that choosing love is right for me. I learned that turning him down would be a huge mistake.
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So if it's not something you want to grow up with someone you love, watch each other mature, face life's challenges together, be each other's stability and love each other forever, it's simple: don't marry a man young. leave the relationship
But then get married, start a life together and fall more and more in love every day. But brace yourself for some tough times and tough nights and know that you can get through it, it is possible (regardless of what other people tell you or what you read on the internet).
Remember that feeling when you saw him, remember his touch when he hugged you, remember that smile he put on your face... and most importantly remember that not everyone can find him in life.
If you are lucky enough to find this on someone, don't throw it away. No difficulty in being married to a man can be more difficult than realizing, years later, that you have decided to leave your soul mate.
Military Girlfriend: Will Deployment Be Your Break Up Point?
Rachel Udkow is a graduate student at NYIT, recently married to an airman. He's studying for a master's degree in communication arts in hopes of becoming a director and is in the midst of unraveling all the details of a long-distance marriage. She is looking forward to graduating and living in North Carolina with her husband.
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Some couples go through distribution and stay together. Others choose to go in very different directions. It's best to know all the facts before you decide whether distribution will be your tipping point.
Advice For Would Be Military Girlfriends
Most implementations last at least six months. Of course, you say only half of this year. But think what could happen in those half a year.
You may get an opportunity to relocate due to a promotion and/or job. You can join a new club or social network. You can build a strong relationship with a new friend. You can win a prize or run a marathon.
You have to ask yourself if you are willing to go through these personal milestones on your own or if you would prefer someone to be physically there with you.
Before distribution begins, even if your relationship has just begun, the two of you should sit down and discuss your future. It is fair to both you and your partner that each of you knows where the other is.
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You may believe you've met "the one," but you may end up being "one of many" to him. You need to think about whether the two of you will remain exclusive or agree to date other people.
You should also consider whether you are willing to keep the person or meet them through long-distance communication.
You might want to consider putting the connection on hold. Many new couples choose to live separate lives while a member is deployed.
This gives both parties the freedom to meet new people and experience new events without guilt or responsibility to the other person. This also allows the civilian girl to really evaluate if she wants to commit to her lifestyle.
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You may even choose to stay in touch periodically and possibly reassess the relationship status after the member returns.
You must mutually agree on how often you will communicate and what forms of communication you will use. You may be more comfortable emailing because you are on different sides of the world and therefore have completely different wake up times.
You might want to hear each other's voices once a week so you know the other person is okay. It all comes down to personal preference, but it's important to share so that a desired lack of communication doesn't hinder your budding romance.
Once your service member knows exactly what type of communication is available, you may need to renegotiate it. Just because the couples in the ads have all the Skypes they want doesn't mean it's going to be a good fit for your boyfriend
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